One Leg

This month seems to have the general theme of BODIES. Conor's interest has led us to purchase the Body puzzles I mentioned several times, check out books in the library about how the body works, and we have this great music CD I also mentioned. Today the unexpected happened....................... Conor asked about my dad.

We were listening to the song called BONES, BONES, BONES on our way to the Post Office. Conor asked, "What happens if you don't have a skeleton?" He's asked this question many times. We briefly went over the fact that you need your skeleton to stand and move. He said, "What if you only had one leg? You'd have to hop around like a penguin." I paused.

I said, "My dad only had one leg" to which he asked, "Did he hop around like a penguin?" I felt the tears surfacing. It was like I was suddenly in a therapist's office and my inner struggles came spilling out. "He had to use crutches. He had cancer so the doctors had to cut off his leg." I pulled out my cell phone to call one of my siblings so that I could get a crash course on how to explain to your children that your dad died of cancer. And so that I could share my heart; share the fact that I miss my dad sometimes and you never know when those feelings will surface.

I found Julie at work and she listened to me & I cried. After I hung up, Conor continued with questions. "What is cancer?" "It's when you have cells that are growing too fast and the good cells can't fight off the bad ones." (Dr. Mom) He proceeded to make analogies about good cells and bad cells, and so did I. I told him it was like a Chess game -- when you attack the pieces. My dad's cancer cells tried to attack the good healthy cells.

I am pretty sure that this was the first time when Conor (Megan fell asleep in the car) saw me cry. I couldn't stop my tears. Conor continued, "I want to see him. What does he look like? You mean I won't ever see him? I don't know what he looks like."

It was at that moment that my testimony of the Plan of Salvation helped me to stop crying and answer his questions with faith and strengh. I told him that my dad was with Heavenly Father and that he was with Grandpa (Sweeney) and his own mommy and daddy. I said that it was okay because we'd get to see him again. These exact principles were what also helped me as a 12-year-old when my dad was dying.

Today I better understood what I was told countless times as a missionary --- the questions of "What is the purpose of life?" and "Why am I here?" and "Where do we go after this life?" are what lead people to the gospel. I am thankful that I know where my dad is and what his body will be like after the resurrection. We read in the Book of Mormon (Another Testament of Jesus Christ, companion scripture to the Bible) that every limb and joint shall be restored to its body in the resurrection, and all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame. (Alma 40:23).
After reading this scripture to Conor he asked innocently, "How will Heavenly Father give him his leg back? Will He tape it or glue it?" Cute.

As I am typing, Conor is singing in the background, "Cancer, Cancer, Cancer. If you have cancer you have to cut off your leg." "Cancer, Cancer is bad. Cancer, Cancer really is bad." I'm not sure how much a 4-year-old can grasp about such issues, but we are all learning together.

When Brian gets home, I'll have him help me scan a photo of my dad & I'll post it just for fun.